Who are you doing it for? While the question is simple, the answer is not always as clear. In order to answer this question truthfully and honestly, you must take some time to understand why the question is being asked?
Taking a hard look at who motivates us or whom we are pushing ourselves for helps in creating long-term motivation with a higher degree of effort. It’s incredibly valuable to understand your personal motivators. Once you know what they are, you’re able to adjust and use the most powerful motivators to keep you going.
Life is a journey of learning, exploring, reaching milestones, and achieving goals. In work and life, we have expectations for ourselves in what we want and what we believe we can accomplish. However, the expectations you have for yourself may not have started with you or, may not be what you want at all.
Is it just for others?
Are you pursuing a career or a sport only because your parents told you that you were good at it? Or, are you trying to achieve a certain level of income because someone else told you that is what you need to be successful? Have you created standards for yourself based on other’s beliefs and opinions? Do you have mental rules and road-blocks about what you CAN and CAN NOT do, what HAS for you to happen to be a success, and what you HAVE to do to be happy?
This is not to say that others can’t motivate us – they certainly can! At points during your journey you’re going to need the extra push from mom, dad, coach, a friend, or a teammate. People in your life who are there for the tough moments are incredibly important and they need to be kept around. Pay attention to these people and keep them close.
However, if you are doing it JUST for others; meaning you do not get any happiness, satisfaction, or joy from the goals, process, or outcomes you are working on, take a moment to reflect. Do you find any meaning or value from your current journey, or has it all been to make others happy, proud, or think better of you? If that is the case you, need to make the time to find out what’s important to you.
Doing it for yourself
Now this may sound selfish, but as with anything, there’s a balance. You’re the only one who knows what you value, what you want to achieve, what you find joy in doing, and what you want your legacy to be. Understanding these foundational points will help you tremendously in all that you do moving forward. Your values and purpose act as a guide to navigate difficult moments and decisions.
As I mentioned, it is all about finding a balance. You want to make sure that you’re doing what matches best with your personal goals, values, and purpose. But, you don’t want to do this at the sake of losing your positive relationships with friends and family. The people who make a positive impact on your life will continue to influence you and help keep you on your path to personal success and happiness.
Combo
The ideal goal is to find a combination of motivators that will keep you on track to meet your goals. The most powerful way to achieve your ambitions is to have a strong connection with them. Great athletes continue to train and reach new levels of performance because they love the challenge of pushing themselves. Great leaders are able to get groups of people motivated because they love the act of teaching and engaging with others. A connection in purpose, values, and goals will lead to long-term benefits.
Bring in the help of positive relationships and you will be unstoppable. Leverage these relationships for the tough days; the days where you want to be lazy. These people can help hold you accountable.
So who are you doing it for?
